My Dealing with Grief and Loss

Experiencing the loss of someone you care about is very heartbreaking. Be it a death of a loved one, a relationship breakup or moving away to a new place. My mother's younger sister recently passed away this morning. For a long time she suffered from diabetes which lead to kidney failure where she experienced sequences of hemodialysis. In some ways, everyone grieves differently. I try not to grieve for too long. At first, I usually feel numb and have trouble believing what happened. Whenever I go through a hard time, I always try to convince myself that I feel fine. I do believe that it is important to be honest about your feelings but at the same time I think it's unnecessary to sugarcoat it. I try not to let negative emotion take over me, therefore I tend to push it away and convince myself that I'm not even feeling it at all. Sometimes I need to remind myself that it is okay be sad and cry. If I don't cry, it does not necessarily mean that I am not sorry about the loss. I think that people who don't cry may feel the pain just as deep as those who cry.

The Power of Choice

So it has been a while since my last post. Now that I'm back, it is a pleasure for me to start blogging again. This afternoon I had a quick chitchat with a friend on the phone and she insisted that I should Youtube Tony Robbins. So I did and clicked on the first video that showed up on the list. I played the video and it struck me that the guy on the video was the same guy that appeared in the movie Shallow Hal. I told my friend about it but she has never seen the movie. The duration of the video was 46 minutes long and basically Tony described how to deal with challenges or crisis and choosing the right choice. The key to deal with these challenges is our ability to find our inner strength and see if it suits and works for us.

1. See it as it is, not worse than it is.
2. Get to the truth and deal with it.
3. Get a vision and get strong.
4. Get a role model and learn their strategies.
5. Give more than you expect to receive.

To determine whether we're experiencing a certain crisis or challenges we then have to question ourselves:

1. What has been one of the toughest time of our lives that we made through?
2. What pulled us through the situation? Person? Place? Belief?
3. What was life like before the crisis?
4. What did we do to turn around?
5. How is our lives better today because we went through this crisis?

Looking back on all the situations that occurred in the past, all of the above made sense. I concluded that no matter what situation we are in, we should be able to make the right choices and deal with them even if they don't always turn out as we expected them to be. Our lives can be altered just by making the right decision that we assign to our life experiences.

Dream Interpretation

October 22, 2012

I was at a beach house at some beach that looked both like Aceh and Anyer. I was surrounded by people whom I recognized in real life as I was growing up. My mom, brother and housekeeper were there and so were some people from elementary school and middle school. The tsunami occurred five times and in just seconds, the town was flooded with mud-like water and we all had to hold on to each other thread water in order to survive. After each tsunami occurred  I always felt the need to go to the bathroom and pee. It wasn't that hard to find the bathroom in the beach house but it would have been easier if I just peed in the tsunami water. Before the fifth tsunami, the small town was suddenly filled with US military wearing mucky green jumpsuit which instructed us to hold on to each other side by side, and the person at the end of the row must grip on to a banister or whatever object that is attached to the house and possible to be gripped on. As we passed that fifth tsunami, a big object suddenly was falling directly towards the front row. The object looked as if it was made from iron or aluminum. Then I woke up from the dream and went for a pee. It took me that long to realize I was still dreaming before actually waking up and go for that real piss.

Beach 
To see the beach in your dream symbolizes the meeting between your two states of mind. The sand is symbolic of the rational and mental processes while the water signifies the irrational, unsteady, and emotional aspects of yourself. It is a place of transition between the physical/material and the spiritual. To dream that you are on the beach and looking out toward the ocean indicates unknown and major changes that are occurring in your life. Consider the state of the ocean, whether it is calm, pleasant, forbidding, etc.
Beach House 
To see or live in a beach house in your dream implies that you need to take time off and relax. Alternatively, the dream means that you need to confront some emotional issue.
Tsunami
To see a tsunami in your dream means that you are being overwhelmed by some repressed feeling or subconscious material that is rising up to the surface. You are experiencing some unhappiness and emotional instability in a waking situation.
Mud 
To see mud in your dream suggests that you are involved in a messy and sticky situation. It also suggests that some spiritual cleansing is needed. To dream that you are walking in mud suggests that you are feeling weighed down by a situation, problem, or relationship. You are feeling frustrated.
Military 
To see the military in your dream signifies rigid authority and emotional repression. Perhaps you need to be more disciplined.
Aluminum 
To see aluminum in your dream signifies your ability to retain what is valuable to you. You are happy with what you have. What may seem insignificant to others is important to you.
Iron 
To see iron metal in your dream symbolizes harshness, anger, aggression, ruthlessness, and conflict. On a positive note, it may signify strength, endurance, and willpower.
Urination
To see urine in your dream represents the feelings you have rejected. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on your "pissy" attitude. To dream that you are urinating symbolizes a cleansing and a release of negative or repressed emotions. Depending on your dream context, urination is symbolic of having or lacking basic control of your life. You are literally "pissed off" and not expressing yourself in a positive or constructive manner.

Dream Interpretation Source: dreammoods.com

Dream Interpretation

October 21, 2012
I was in some kind of school yard. There were people dress in jerseys, some others were shirtless. I spotted some people I know from elementary school. Then they had a contest of tug of war while I just stood there and watch them pull the rope.

Ropes 

To see a rope in your dream represents your connection and attachment to others. It is symbolic of what is holding your relationship together. Alternatively, a rope signifies bondage, restriction and captivity.

Tug Of War 

To dream that you are playing tug of war suggests that you need to balance various aspects of your personality. You need to learn to compromise. (I wasn't sure whether I can relate to this one or not since I wasn't the one doing the tug of war)

Dream Interpretation Source: dreammoods.com

Lydia's Mac and Cheese

January 21, 2012

This morning I woke up to a sudden feeling of wanting to cook something up for breakfast. I have never, I repeat, never cooked my own meal in my entire life before. So I came upon this website where they have posted up a recipe of macaroni and cheese from scratch. But since I don’t have the complete ingredients at home, I sort of improvise by using other ingredients of my own.

Ingredients:

• 8 cups of water (1 cup = 240mL)
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 2 cups uncooked macaroni
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 2 cups grated cheddar cheese
• 1 teaspoon corn starch
• 2 teaspoons flour
• 1 cup milk
• ½ teaspoon lemon juice (I used squeezed-Sunkist orange as an alternative)
• 2 slices of chopped smoked beef

Directions:

1. Mix corn starch and grated cheese in a bowl.
2. In a saucepan, boil water and add salt. Add macaroni and cook through. When cooked, drain water from saucepan. Place in bowl.
3. In a larger saucepan, melt butter and add flour. Slowly pour milk and stir thoroughly until sauce is smooth. While stirring, add grated cheese. Then add some chopped smoked beef. Last but not least, pour lemon juice (or in my case, squeezed-Sunkist) and stir.
4. When sauce is prepared, add the drained macaroni and mix thoroughly.
5. Voila! In addition, you may sprinkle some black pepper or salt to your mac and cheese.

Number of Servings: 4

Not bad for a first attempt huh? Plus it tasted good. Starting today I'm gonna try to cook using several different recipes and make a good chef outta myself. Wish me luck! :)

Dream Interpretation

November 7, 2011

I had a dream that I was inside a bus. The bus was empty and I was the only one inside. Then a guy appears at the entrance. He was wearing a white/light bluish long-sleeved buttoned-down shirt. He was carrying  a rose with a scroll paper tied by a red ribbon. He walked towards me, then proposed to me. I was surprised but I was also happy at the same time. And then he planted a kiss.

Roses 

To see roses in your dream signify faithfulness in love and the coming of joy in some are of your life. Roses also symbolize love, passion, desire, femininity, unity, and romance, particularly if they are red roses.

Scroll 

To see a scroll in your dream represents your hidden knowledge or ultimate potential.

Ribbon 

To see a ribbon in your dream signifies innocence, playfulness, festivities, frivolity and girliness.

Proposal 

To dream that you are being proposed to indicates that you are merging a previously unknown aspect of yourself More directly, the dream may mean that you are thinking about marriage or some serious long-term commitment/project/situation. Are you thinking about proposing to someone? Your reaction to the proposal indicates your true feelings about marriage or commitment.

Kiss 

To dream of a kiss denotes love, affection, tranquility, harmony, and contentment. In particular, if you are dreaming of your first kiss, then it may just be the anticipation of experiencing your actual first kiss. This dream is also symbolic of young love and fresh romance. Perhaps the dream is telling you that you need to inject some more romance into your waking relationship.

Dream Interpretation Source: dreammoods.com

Dream Interpretation

Aug 12, 2011

So I had a dream I was at a local bookstore called Gramedia. My younger friends named Melly and Hanna calls up to help them find books on pregnancy and zodiacs. Then the scene changes. I was with my mom and dad getting ready to my friend, Chitra's wedding. I had no idea who she was getting married to. So my mom, dad and I headed to the parking lot. Yes, apparently it wasn't the usual garage but a huge parking lot. We had three cars there. One was a public transportation, another one was a dining car, and the third was a personal car. Then I woke up (well I thought I did). And sent a bbm to my bf telling him about the dream I just had. Only to realize that I was still dreaming. The scene changes. I was inside a building that looked like a trade center. The Rock and Bow Wow was there too. The building was full of bad guys who were armed with weapons and we tried to save everyone's lives. The bad guys blew up the entrance doors  with an armored tank  so everyone was stuck inside and unable to exit the building. The lobby was filled with dusts and ruins. Then the scene changes again. I was looking at two girls having a cat-fight. One was a redhead, the other was a blond. The redhead was The Rock's girlfriend and the blond was his second girlfriend. The blond knew the redhead was already dating him. So it looks like the redhead was pissed off at her. Then the dream ended there.

Book

To see books in your dream, indicate calmness. You are moving toward your goals at a slow and steady pace. Books also symbolize knowledge, intellect, information and wisdom. In particular, to see an open book in your dream, means that you are able to grasp new ideas with ease. If the book is closed, then it represents your allure and mysteriousness. Consider the type of book for additional clues. The dream may represent your calling into a specific field of work or an area that you need to devote more study to. Alternatively, the dream could be telling you not to judge a book by its cover.

Pregnant
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.
Zodiac
To see the zodiac in your dream, represents the various aspects of your conscious being and how you connect to the universe. Alternatively, the zodiac may appear in a dream to denote the passage of time.
Wedding
To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. A wedding reflects your issues about commitment and independence. To dream that you are attending a wedding, consider how you feel at the wedding. If you are upset or sad, then it means that you are unhappy about the current status of your life. If you are happy, then you are embracing a new change in your life
Parking Lot
To dream that you are in parking lot, suggests that you need to slow down and take time from your daily activities.
Car
To see a parked car in your dream, suggests that you need to turn your efforts and energies elsewhere. You may be needlessly spending your energy in a fruitless endeavor. Alternatively, a parked car may symbolize your need to stop and enjoy life.
Building
To see a building in your dream, represents the self and the body. How high you are in the building indicates a rising level of understanding, awareness or success. If you are in the lower levels of the building, then it refers to more primal attitudes and/or sexuality. To see a building in ruins or damaged, indicates that your approach toward a situation or relationship is all wrong. You need to change. Your own self-image may have suffered and taken some blow.
Armored Cars
To see or drive an armored car in your dream, suggests that you are feeling insecure about the progress you have made so far in life. Perhaps you feel that you are not measuring up to others. You are building a protective barrier or emotional wall around yourself. Alternatively, the dream means that you need to be careful of your spending and that you need to protect your finances.
Fighting
To see others fighting in your dream, suggests that you are unwilling to acknowledge your own problems and turmoil. You are not taking any responsibility or initiative in trying to resolve issues in your waking life.
Redhead
To dream that you are a redhead, suggests that you need more spontaneity and vitality in your life. It is time to make some dramatic changes. 
Blond
To see a blond person in your dream, suggests that you need to enjoy life and live it up. Be a little glamorous.

Dream Interpretation Source: dreammoods.com